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i want to decipher that emotion
it is quite tempting to slip into that. logical person. unreactive person. i dont deny the anger. i dont deny the mask you are wearing. its fine for you to keep acting. and i know its only a facade. so you think showing the emotions is a loss. so you think you disguise it well. but i should know you grew up acting this way. how long do you want to keep pretending?

a gentle whisper
“These are the laws you are to set before them.” Exodus 21:1 This passage is teaching us that, as great as moments of revelation and inspiration can be, they are not where we will find God. It’s wonderful to be moved by a beautiful sunset or to be awed by a powerful thunderstorm. They may make us feel more connected to God and inspire us to change. But that’s not where we encounter God in the deepest way. We truly encounter God where we are least expecting it – in the store, at a business meeting, sitting around the house with our family. It’s the quiet moments in life where we choose to follow God’s Word or set His laws aside; that’s where we truly encounter God. As you go through the day, keep an ear out for that “gentle whisper” guiding you and commanding you as you go through life. When you hear God’s voice and choose to obey His laws, you will have found Him, no matter where you may be. Nothing is more sensational... (more)

whinny yinnie
i'm still in love with him
I have finally felt enough discontent and insecurity to doubt my relationship with the most gentle, loving, caring, mature and responsible man I've ever met and who fully loves and cherish me. Due to a series of plain unlucky events I suddenly fear for my future with him as he and his circle present a very different circumstance from what I am used to. For example, he could not speak English well, and I had to organise every tiny little thing like calling banks and insurances and real estate agents just to run our lives. He would have to rely on a translator or an English-speaking friend. He would set lower standards than I would to accomplish some things and always tells me, as long as I tried my hardest, that is enough. It is mainly his background, his level of education, his circle of friends, his main topic of conversation, .... it's all too ordinary and bland for me. I seldom get to share in-depth thoughts and philosophical conversations which I enjoy. The night I flew back to... (more)

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